Between God and Truth

I cannot think of as much to write in this post as the last one. Fear not, this isn't because I'm getting used to the blog; it's because for the past week, I've been with my family here, which has a way of unsettling one's discipline and focus of mind. So now, I return to write again with regularity.

A prominent thought on my mind of late, has been of purpose. That sounds general, so to narrow it down, it could be said that I've been thinking about what God has for me here. His direct purpose for me is something I strongly desire. However, this is not pursued easily because right now it is competing with a desire to know God personally. These two conflict because purpose is typically associated with knowing a truth or fact; something one can take and run with without looking back. Relationship is associated with not being independent of God in any circumstance. This example of relationship seems a bit in the wrong however, as it seems that God wants some level of independence. Yet, in something so important as one's purpose, I would imagine that being independent of God in that would be wrong. And so the issue remains: I desire purpose, but my definition of purpose is a truth that allows oneself act towards that truth without ties to the original source of that truth.

Existentialistic thought is very prominent throughout popular Western culture, and I am no exception. This is not to say that all of the individualistic traits of existentialism are wrong, but they do create this point of tension; especially in light of how I have lived and thought according to mindsets that support a view of existence that allows and even holds up (indirectly) a separation between God and man. This indirect allowance and holding up is perhaps what keeps parts of the church so tied to the issues that stem from this perspective.

Mostly, the indirect force seems to come from the belief that God is Truth, that man has been separated from God, and that this Truth should be pursued above all else. The issue with this is that Truth is almost always associated with Concept / Idea and not Being. Concept and Ideas are objects that exist in the Western mindset as something within the mind of an individual and therefore isolated. Therefore, it's not easy to stretch that internal construct to another being via a relationship. Furthermore, ideas according to this mindset are often ruled by logic and reason, which according to Western thought are also void of external connections.

And so, I wage war between these concepts; to find God hopefully along the way.